Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad, That I may reply to him who reproaches me. Proverbs 27:11
When we have wise sons it is a joy to our hearts as fathers. That is why it is so vital that the current generation of fathers take on the task of rearing a generation of sons who reject this present evil world and its ways and choose instead to live according to the wisdom God offers to us in the Scriptures. What I think we have here is the frustrated cry of a father. He is frustrated because he desires for his son to be wise - yet, he is facing criticism and reproach because he is not. It may be the cry of a father who has seen men before him - godly men in their own right - and yet they were subject to reproach because of the character and choices of their sons after them. The father may have been a man of God - a man of great godly character and actions. He may have been a leader - an example himself. The problem is that his son does not walk in the same way. Think about Samuel the prophet for a moment in this light. He was a man of God - unparalleled in how he served God with all his heart. Yet the one thing that caused the downfall of his ministry - was the way that his sons lived. At the close of his life the people of Israel asked for a king. They asked, not because Samuel was inadequate as a prophet. They asked because by their own admission, Samuel's sons did not walk in his ways. Samuel, as godly as he was - had not learned the lesson of Eli's lack of godly fathering of his sons. Eli's sons were ungodly - and their actions led to the people not being led by godly men. Now, Samuel, after seeing God bring Israel back to Himself - now watched as they rejected the Lord as king over them - because they would have to trust Samuel's sons to lead them after Samuel's death. This they did not want - because Samuel's sons were not men of God. The cry of a godly father who is reproached when his sons do not walk in his ways - is that they would be wise and godly. But as we look back on much of biblical history - it is one littered with godly men whose very sons did not follow in their daddy's footsteps. So what are we to learn here from this passage about wisdom? Fathers, please hear me for a few moments here. You may have a legacy in your own actions that blows everyone away - but it will mean little to you later in life if your sons do not walk in your ways. God calls us as fathers to love our children by rearing them to walk with Him. That is a task that we cannot ignore - no matter how successful we are. It will come to haunt us - as it did Samuel, as it did Solomon, as it did Hezekiah. These men were all godly in their own right - but their sons did not walk in their ways. In all three cases, the legacy of these men was not carried on through their sons. They turned from following the Lord and the result was pretty disastrous for them - and for the people whom they were supposed to lead. Wisdom is found in a father who leads and teaches his son to walk wisely. He does so as one of the most important things he can possibly do in life. The detriment to our society and the church within it cannot be possibly be calculated because our sons often do not walk in our ways. Men leave carnage behind them when they do not walk with God. God wants men to lead in spiritual matters - but when they don't - or sadly can't - what they leave behind is much reason for us to reproach their fathers for not making as an ultimate priority the responsibility to bring up godly sons after them.
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Listen, my son, and be wise, And direct your heart in the way. Proverbs 23:19
There are some very serious consequences for those who become heavy drinkers or gluttonous eaters. These are things that we don't like to deal with today - because they tend to get a little personal when we confront them. Nevertheless, these things are not good for us, and they will rob us of the blessings of a good and prosperous life. Contrary to the nanny state that is trying to change people's behavior by legislation and shaming, God's Word takes a different approach. First of all, we see that the things that are being said are said from the mouth of a father. These are matters that the state are not to fix - they were meant to be addressed in the course of living within a godly home. The reason that these things are epidemic in our day is because of the rampant lack of godly homes. There are no longer fathers who take the time to regularly teach and train their sons to be godly men. There are also no longer those in our society that will know the Word in a way that will move them to impart wisdom to their children. The father here speaks to his son and lets him know from the start that the motivation for his comments is that his son would be wise. He is saying to his boy, if you are wise, you will avoid these kinds of lifestyle choices. Then he lets his son know that if he rejects such wisdom - there will be consequences. He does not seek to deliver his son from the consequences except a warning of what is to come. He is not wanting to just modify his son's behavior. He is seeking to help his son on heart issues. He says, "Direct your heart in the way!" Our current legislative overreach wants to modify behavior by taxing certain behaviors heavier - or trying to outlaw them altogether. They seek to stop smoking this way - or they try to so stigmatize smoking that people will stop out of shame. What this has led to is people who hold fast to their smoking - but not have to pay far more to do so. The sad thing is that in the end, the government (who is constantly in search of more money to spend) receives greater tax because of this behavior. This makes it to where they almost don't want to have smoking stop - because then their revenue stream will dry up and go away. Just addressing the outward behavior will do little or nothing to stop the problem. This father addresses the heart. He wants his son to be wise - and a wise man takes the time to direct his own heart into a way that does not dishonor God. He will direct his heart into ways that are not destructive to himself. Instead he will direct his heart into "THE" way. What is "THE" way? It is the way of the Lord. It is a way that puts great value on bringing glory and honor and praise to Him. It is a way that values the Word of God - and values the lifestyle that comes from honoring and obeying the Word of God. This is what the father wants - and it is a wise thing that he is seeking! Fathers, let's give us merely trying to change our son's behavior with poor motivators. Threats and harsh punishments will probably not turn the hearts of our sons to the right way. Let us speak the truth to our children, but at the same time aim for the heart. What we want is to see them choose wise paths - and heart-motivated change. May God give us the wisdom to speak to them this way - and then they will be blessed - not just with good behavior, but a good heart that motivates that behavior for a lifetime. Check tomorrow's post as we continue through the next several verses to see how the father uses wisdom - and an understanding of the biblical consequences that follow our actions. Hear, my son, and accept my sayings And the years of your life will be many.
Proverbs 4:10 The way that we listen and hear things is so important when it comes to spiritual matters. If we are wise, we will learn how to listen well so that what God says to us will be taken in and seized the moment we hear it. That kind of listening will allow us to not just hear - but also hearken to what is spoken to us. Obedience to a command or a call begins with how we hear it and how we grasp what is being said. Without that skill - communication is a roll of the dice at best. The father begins by calling his son to hear what he says. The word used to say "hear" is a famous one. It is the word "shema" and it is famous because the Jews call their most famous biblical reference "the shema." "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9 The call to "hear" that is spoken to the son is used to indicate to him that something very important is about to be said. So what the father is about to say here in this passage is vital for him to grasp for his good. When we hear what someone says to us - the amount of importance we assign to their words will in great part determine what we do with them. Some times it will determine whether we hear them beyond the moment in which they speak to us. When this carries over to our relationship with God we see how important this is to our spiritual growth and maturity. When God speaks through His Word - are we listening? Jesus began His most important statements with the phrase, "truly, truly I say to you." Since most Hebrew Rabi's punctuated their important statements with just one truly, Jesus drew their attention very quickly with this manner of speaking. But we need to pay attention to everything our Lord speaks - so the necessity of listening well is even more important for us. The second thing the father is seeking to teach his son is to lock on to what is said and not let it go. He tells his son to accept his sayings. The idea here is to take hold of something and grab it tightly. There are times, I am embarassed to say, that my wife will ask me what she just said to me. She does this when I am being rude and allowing something to distract me from the importance of interacting with her. There are times when I can repeat what she has said word for word, but that is not why she asked me her question. Her statement was rhetorical - because she knew that I was listening without truly hearing. I might be able to repeat words - but I did not get her heart or her spirit. That is what the father is trying to teach his son. Don't just listen without hearing. Listen to where you truly get the words - and the spirit in which they were spoken. When you do this you will truly "get it." The father promises that when we do this we will experience a life of many years. This is not must promising a long life, but life itself - for a long time. We will have far more that a quantity of life - we will enjoy a wonderful quality of it as well. Learning to listen well - hearing far more than just words - will bless you in a multitude of areas. It will bless your relationships, most importantly those with your Lord and your wife. It will bless how you relate to your children, your boss, your friends, and even your acquaintences. It will bless your work life - because you will hear what to do and grasp it so that you won't make careless mistakes. It will also bless you when you begin ministering to others. Your ability to truly hear what someone is saying will put you miles ahead of those who simply try to minister - without really knowing where ministry is needed. Oh, to listen this way! It will prove a blessing that you cannot fully measure in life. But it is something that every father - especially our Father in heaven - desires for his son to learn. It will prove to be a monumental blessing to him. My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad; and my inmost being will rejoice When your lips speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16
What should matter most to us when we think of our sons? I know for a period of my life what mattered most to me was seeing my sons excel at sports. I could have sadly rewritten these two verses with the following foolish edits. "My son, if you do well at football and soccer, my own heart also will be glad; and my flesh will rejoice when I can cheer at your games for your goals and touchdowns." (Dopey Father 23:15-16) First of all I want to state that I am not against sports or competitive activities. When God graciously broke me he still allowed my sons to compete in sports - and I continued to cheer for them on the sidelines. Oh, but how I grieved for the years that I had lost - and for the way I had skewed their minds on what was a priority in their lives. During that time period we set everything aside for their sports careers. We spent tremendous amounts of money following them all over the mid-south (which, by the way, put us into debt). I had my sweet wife miss church along with my sons, so that we could go wherever the coach told us to go. We basically had a very clear idol in our lives - and it is was the dream I had that maybe one day my sons could play college ball - or even make a pro team. But the most devastating problem that was growing all the time was the misplaced priorities that I was putting before my sons. My own lack of submission to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in my life - carried over into my son's lives. This story ends well - because of two things. First and foremost because of God's mercy and grace. But secondly, because of some serious repentance on my part - repentance and brokenness that led me back to a proper life under the Lordship of Jesus Christ - and with proper biblical priorities. Let me get back, though, to the proverb at hand. The father here is speaking of what makes his heart glad. The father here was glad, and later even rejoiced that his son had a wise heart. Wisdom was what this father valued most in his son. And it is a wisdom that sees life as God sees it. The father here lived to see his son one day with a very wise and discerning heart. He labored to see that one day his boy would be a man who longed to do the will of God above anything else in his life. This places before us a very important question. Are we as fathers seeing our most important job as laboring to see our sons become wise, godly young men? Wisdom comes from God. We learned this back in Proverbs 2. If we are going to have wise sons, it will be because we have taught them the things of God. Wise sons come from wise fathers who both know the Word and apply it in our everyday lives. The passion that often drives a "sports-dad" will be re-directed into being a "godly-dad." If the Christian fathers who spend hours trying to hone their son into the next Peyton Manning or the next Landon Donovan, would devote that much time to honing their sons into the next Paul - we'd watch a revolution in the church - and in our society in general. Instead of working on passing and catching skills alone - we'd find ourselves spending time also reading the Word with our child. We'd be working on wisdom skills - on memorizing Scripture - and on being able to take the Word of God an use it to properly discern good and evil as they walked through their lives. I know I may be laboring the point a little bit, but think about this for a moment. How many sons are actually going to be playing sports at the college level? How many truly have a shot at the NFL or MLB or the MLS? And how many who make it to those levels of sport will have a wise and discerning heart there to keep them out of the trouble that seems to be following sportsmen in these sports? The truth is very few will make it to these teams, but everyone single one of those young men will need to be able to live a life of wisdom. All of them - even those who do make it - will need "wisdom skills" to walk through life worthy of their calling in Jesus Christ. If you think your son will make it to a college or pro level - have at it. But Dad, make sure that the most important goal you have for your son is to live a life of wisdom an godliness! Make sure HE knows that this is the true goal - and that which would most delight your heart and soul! The father her also states that his inmost being will rejoice when he hears his son speaking what is right. The inmost being spoken of here is literally kidneys in the Hebrew. Dads, your kidneys need to rejoice over your son! Now there is a phrase you don't hear much anymore. "Hey Bob, man my kidneys just rejoice over how Bob Jr. is growing into a godly young man!" The kidneys were thought, along with the heart, to be the deepest seat of emotion and joy in a person. It referred to the innermost and most private part of a person's life. When you are moved to rejoice at that level, you are rejoicing at the deepest level possible. You rejoice because your heart is blessed at the core level of your beliefs and principles. This leaves me with another loaded question. What is your deepest rejoicing about in life? If you find yourself rejoicing deeply at the touchdowns and sports achievements of others - but yawning at the things of God - the exhibition of godly character and true manhood - you are rejoicing about the wrong things. Let me say, I love a good touchdown like most guys - but God has worked to where I get more excited when I watch my sons make godly decisions. The reason this father was rejoicing in his kidneys was because his son was speaking what is right. This is not that his son was parroting some phrase or some rote speech he knew would make dad happy, but that his son was speaking normally - and was saying what was right. This is an important step for our sons maturity wise. Jesus taught us that it was out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth spoke. So when we hear our sons speaking what is right in their normal conversation - it tells us that God has worked in their hearts. It is easy to get a son to say what YOU want him too when he is around you - but it is far more difficult to rear him to say the right thing (the godly thing) as a matter of normal living. This requires God working in his heart. That is why the father was dancing in his kidneys when he knew his son was speaking this way. Fathers, this proverb is vital for us to grasp. We are called to take boys given to us by God, and rear them to be men. This requires doing far more than just bringing home the bacon - and re-living our desires for sports grandeur through them. Taking a boy and making him a man requires that we put wisdom and godliness at the top of our own priority list, and helping our sons to do the same. It means laboring to see a heart-change in our boys by the working of the gospel and the Spirit of God. It means training our sons to love a woman properly - and to have a vision of what God desires for their lives to be. But I will tell you by the mercies of God that when you watch your sons begin to make godly decisions - no sports achievement in the world can come close to the sensation you will get in your kidneys! Live therefore for the glory of God and the blessing of your kidneys as you labor to take boys - and give the world men of God. A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him. Proverbs 20:7
What is it that will bless our sons while we are live - and more importantly after we die? Some thing that leaving them a huge inheritance of money, stock, and real estate would be the best thing. Actually, Proverbs says that an inheritance quickly gained will be lost in the end. So what is it that will bless our sons now and far into the future? Solomon tells us that the best thing we can do for our sons is to be a righteous man who walks in integrity. The first thing we see here is that this father is a "righteous man." This means that he does what is right in the sight of the Lord. He lives in a way that honors and glorifies God. It also means that this father has looked to Jesus Christ for salvation - since that is the only way we can truly be a righteous man - by grace through faith. But this father also is one who lives in integrity. The word integrity here is the Hebrew word, "tamam" which means to walk in a completeness and moral innocence. This man walks through life in complete obedience to God as well as complete submission to what God's Word instructs him to do. He also walks in a moral innocence that comes from desiring holiness and spiritual maturity in his life. The last way that this word is used is to speak of someone who walks in simplicity. When I read this I am reminded of Paul's statement in 2 Corinthians that he was jealous for them with a godly jealousy. He desired for them to walk, "in simplicity and devotion to Jesus." This would wonderfully describe the kind of integrity that the righteous father would want his children (especially his sons) to see in his life - an integrity of devotion to Jesus Christ - simple devotion to Him. When a father walks in this way - how blessed are his sons after him. They may not have riches. They may not have huge estates and vacation homes. They may not have all the things that this world says a man shoul have to be successful. But what they do have is something very rare. Possibly more rare that diamonds and rubies. They will have a godly upbringing and a godly example from their father. This will bless them long after the toys and trinkets of this life are gone. They will be blessed in having the kind of rearing that will help them through the minefields of the world system. These minefields include the devil's traps in the areas of sexual immorality, impurity, evil desires, and greed. It will help them navigate through the shoals and hidden reefs of youth and the dangerous coastal rocky shorelines of mid-life crisis. They will have watched a godly father navigate these dangers successfully - thus leaving them a legacy of godliness. They will have mapped out for their sons the course that will lead them safely to the harbors of heaven. They will know to close their ears to the siren songs of their flesh and the world - and to sail with their eyes fixed on the Word of God. They will run their race with their eyes fixed on Jesus - and on the example their fathers were of a life centered in Him. You can spend your life working to leave your sons a fortune. You can make sure that they are set for life when you die - at least in financial realms. The problem with such an inheritance is that without a godly compass these things can actually be more of a danger than a help. A son needs the blessing of a godly man who walks in his integrity. We say often that the things of God are more often caught than taught. How true this is in regard to teaching our sons how to walk with God. I do not discount teaching because it is absolutely necessary. But without a corresponding walk in integrity before the eyes of our boys, they may not get all they need to succeed at life. And regardless of how they fare in the business world - in the end they will need life, life eternal more than anything else. May we be wise fathers who not only teach them the things of God - but also walk in out as they look to see if we are only offering them precepts - rather than living principles. My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. Proverbs 1:10
Here we are given an inside seat to a spectacle that takes place every day. This event is when a fool or group of fools approach a person to entice him to join with them in their ungodly schemes. This is something we need to see because as Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, there really is nothing new under the son. Men have tried to get others to join with their gang to do mischief for numerous generations. The lies are pretty much unchanged - and yet they are good to know ahead of time so that we are not taken in by the offers of fools whose only true promise is to get us into serious trouble before everything is over. How young people need to read these words and profit from rejecting them ahead of time. Here a father speaks to his son to warn him against such foolish company - and against their foolish offers to "cut him in on the action." His first instructive comment is to refer to those who do such things as "sinners." What is instructive about this word is the comment made by Zhodiates that this word is used, "to describe those who, by their actions, are under the wrath and judgment of God and face ultimate destruction." In Psalm 104:35 we are told that these folks will be consumed from the earth - and in Isaiah 1:28 that they will be crushed and will come to their end by the hand of God. The father warns that these people will come to "entice" them. They will come with words to try to allure, persuade, and deceive. They want to convince this young man to join with them as they plan to do their evil deeds. This may sound all melodramatic to some who read this - but that is only because the world has done a good job of mocking this kind of talk. They do so by overdramatizing the father or the spiritual guide - making him sound stupid when he warns of such things. Their effectiveness has only dulled the minds of our children to those who truly will come to them with such wicked counsel. In the end they only make it easier for the criminal and harder for the parent or mentor. This father is doing a good thing in warning his son about this kind of interview. His advice to his son is not to consent. In the end the boy is going to have to make a decision on his own. Eventually every child will leave the home and will face temptation to do evil. If we do not instruct them - they will face this without godly counsel on their side. This father does an admirable job of letting his son hear the enticing words ahead of time. But the father does so with additional commentary explaining to his son just where such counsel will lead. Hey dad, let me ask you a question. Are you preparing your son to face these things? Are you taking the time to let him hear the kind of things he is going to be told - and then put them into the context of where they will take him? There is a kind of Christian parenting that is going on today that does not think kids should be exposed to anything that is remotely wrong. I agree with this when it comes to exposing them to such things and encouraging them to do them. But what this godly father is doing is exposing his son to the reality of what wicked men will say to him one day. He is letting his son know the arguments - the offers - the lies that will be told to him. Then he is taking those statements and dismantling them before his son. He does so by showing his son where such lies will lead him. The warning his boy receives is a wise one - and one that we would do well to teach to our own children as well. When we think that placing them into a world without any form of tempation of proposed evil will protect them - we may be deceiving ourselves. One day they won't be with us - and an evil man will approach with his slick lies. What will they do then? Will they know how to stand and resist the lies? Maybe . . . maybe not. The only way we can prepare them for such a day is to teach them by exposing them to what will be said - as well as the sure judgment and destruction that comes with the lifestyle that will result. Like a bird that wanders from her nest, So is a man who wanders from his home. Proverbs 27:8
Birds begin every spring by gathering what is needed to construct a nest. Usually they select a place that they believe will give them protection and shelter. This becomes the location where they then lay eggs and work to build a family. The nest serves as the location of safety and of security. For a bird to leave the nest is dangerous. Note that the term used for this leaving is the word wander. The bird is not flying from the nest for the purpose of hunting or finding food for itself and its young. This bird is just following its own curiosity wandering away from the nest to see what he can see. This indicates that we are probably speaking of the young - because an adult bird knows better than to wander from the nest. There is a word for birds who wander from their nests - prey! They become prey for those who are watching to see if they leave the protection and cover of the nest. They are sitting ducks as they go out from the nest just wandering wherever they go. It is a very dangerous thing to just go wandering away. The picture of a bird wandering from its nest is compared to a man who wanders from his home. Here again is God's wisdom. God establishes the home as the central unit of society. It is also the place where God intends for children to be reared to maturity. There God provides for the child two loving parents who are focused on selflessly giving themselves for this child's good. As long as the child stays within the home (meaning its influence and protection) that child is safe. When the child wanders from that place - he is in danger. But what we have said to us here is not about a child - it is about a man. The man who wanders from his home is like the bird wandering from his nest. What would cause a man to wander from his home? There are many things actually that work toward guiding a man toward this disaster. First is another woman. Many men wander from their home and wind up being involved with a woman who is not their wife. They wander away from their commitment - away from their vows to God and to their bride - and much like the bird wandering from his nest - this man is caught . . . trapped . . . hunted and captured. Sexual immorality and adultery are both strong traps that have destroyed many a man who wandered from the nest of his home and marriage. Another thing that causes men to wander is outside interests that begin to dominate their lives. Please understand I'm not against a man having outside interests like hunting, fishing, sports, cars, motorcyles, or whatever else a guy chooses to pursue. What I warn men against is having pursuits that take them away from the home far too often. Our commitment as a husband and father is to our wives and our children. Anything that takes us away from them - and hinders us from being there for them as we should - is not good. It is another way men "wander" from the nest - and leave themselves (and their families) unprotected. There is more to this than just the damage done to the man who wanders away. When he is in this "wandering" state, his family is left unprotected. His sons are untaught in the things of the Lord - and undirected into God's way by watching and participating with their father in vastly important ways. His daughters are left unprotected - and grow up with a sense that they have to take care of themselves. They face dealing with boys on their own - and since dad has been off acting like a boy - they don't know what a real man looks like. Too often this leads to disaster as sons grow up being boys perennially as they follow the footsteps of a father who leads them there by not growing up himself. Daughters grow up unprotected and wind up going out with and marrying the wrong kind of man. There are truly multiple disasters that come from a man wandering from his home. Men . . . God wants you to be MEN! That means leaving behind boyhood and choosing to be the man God wants you to be in your home. The church and our world desperately needs men like this. We need guys who choose to die to themselves and see more and more as they grow older that life is not about them. They grow up and realize that shirking serious responsibilities in the home and in the church is creating a horrific society and a broken nation. We cannot continue on the course we are on - because to do so is to embrace destruction on a national scale. I realize that this is not just a problem for us - it has been a multi-generational problem in our nation. Many of us are like we are - because we have had fathers who wandered from the home - either physically, emotionally, spiritually, or all the above. But we cannot continue on this path - it surely leads to disaster! May God move in our hearts and in our homes to fulfill His promise in Malachi 4:5-6. There the Lord spoke of a day when he would send us "Elijah the prophet" before the great and terrible day of the LORD. His purpose and ministry would be to, ". . . restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers . . ." God's promise here was so that He would not have to come and smite the land with a curse. I think we see all the marks of that curse on our land today. To be honest, the vast majority of the responsibility for that curse lies on the fathers of today and yesterday - for wandering from home. May the work of revival and reformation bring fathers back home - first back to the Lord Himself, then back to their wives and children. Basically - back to the nest - a place they never should have wandered from in the first place. Take my instruction and not silver, And knowledge rather than choicest gold. 11 "For wisdom is better than jewels; And all desirable things cannot compare with her. Proverbs 8:10-11 (NASB)
How valuable is wisdom? You can't find any valuation for it on the New York Stock Exchange or in a bank. There is no mention of it in any of the mutual funds or among the currency exchange markets either. So just how valuable is wisdom? Well, according to what we read in Proverbs 8:10-11 wisdom is extremely valuable - worth far more than anyone in the financial world could imagine. First we learn that we should take a father's discipline and instruction rather than silver. "Musar" is the Hebrew word used here and it means the instruction and discipline that comes through a father's oral instruction - but it can also mean the way this comes through the rod as well. According to other places in Proverbs (i.e. 1:7, 8:33, 13:1, and 15:5) if we receive this we receive life and the favor of God. When we reject our father's instruction and discipline, we receive death, poverty, and shame. In many ways the Word of God says that the way we deal with our father's instruction and discipline will be mirrored in how we receive His in our lives. Hmmm, a southern way of saying this might be, "Take your daddy's talkin's and whippin's rather than money." Might sound kind of strange - but when I think of the value of a godly father's instruction - it is something that is invaluable. When I consider how much I could have learned from my dad - and how much pain and problems could have been prevented in my life if I did - I see where this is worth more than silver. The second statement her is to take knowledge rather than gold. This is the Hebrew word "daath" which means a knowledge gained from learning, discernment, and insight. The word speaks of a knowledge about how life works, as well as a knowledge of the divine. A way to put this where you can really grasp it is that the knowledge God commends is knowing Him and therefore knowing how to life live to its fullest. Now if we thought that a father's instruction and discipline was valuable - we will be blown away at the value of the knowledge God gives. It is worth more than the choicest gold. The gold described here is what is known as "fine gold" and it describes gold that is highly refined and extremely valuable. To know God and thus to know how to live this life is so incredibly valuable. Nothing is worth more to a human being because such wealth does not leave you when you die physically. To know God and how to live will last for all eternity. Next we are told that wisdom is better than jewels. The word used here usually refers to rubies and other highly valuable gems. The word also indicates that these are not raw jewels, but ones that have been cut and adorned with gold and other items to make them highly valuable. Imagine if you will the entire collection of England's crown jewels. These are not as valuable as wisdom. Wisdom again is simply seeing things the way that God sees them and thus knowing how to make decisions that please and honor Him. To close out this proverb we finally read that "all desireable things cannot compare with her." Take all the things of this world that men consider valuable. Pile them all up into one glorious wealthy heap - and all these things together cannot compare to wisdom. This world puts great pride in what they consider valuable. We even used to have a show were the lives of the rich and famous were put on display for all of us to covet. The problem is that all those things are not as desireable as knowing God. They don't add up to a life where we learn valuable and wise lessons from our earthly fathers - then follow their example by learning from God Himself the very things they have sought to teach us. What is the value of wisdom? It is of such a high value that they've not even invented charts that can accurately show the true value and the wealth that comes from it. That can only be measured in the joy and thrill of a myriad of lifetimes spent in the presence of God Himself in heaven. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Here is probably one of the most well known proverbs that there is. It has to deal with how to rear a child. Too often it is quoted more like, raise up a child and church - and he won't rebel or depart from going to church or doing the church thing. Many a devastated parent reads this verse and wonders why little Johnny doesn't go to church any longer - or want anything to do with the Lord. Let's take a close look at this verse to see what is DOES say and what is DOES NOT say to us as we seek to rear our children for the Lord. The word train is very important to know here - as we see that the "training" of the child in the way he should go is imperative to the blessing of him not departing from that way when he is old. This word is the Hebrew word, "chanak" which means to train or to dedicate. The root word for "chanak" means to narrow something - thus to initiate, discipline, or train it to that narrow path. Ah, here we begin to see what God is saying to us about child training. We are to narrow the child's way - by training and instruction - so that the child's way conforms itself to God's way. This narrowing had to do with the opening of a path. It was a constricting of that opening so that someone went a specific way as they sought to enter the path before them. Let's take a moment and talk about how this is applied to child training. When we talk about "narrowing" a child's way - we are talking about discipline. When they are little it means instructing - but also if necessary corporal punishment (spanking if you will) in order to train the child that there are certain things you just do not do. If you choose to do these things there will be punishment. It means we MUST correct our children when they act out in a way that is contrary to God's way. When we refuse to do this - we are not helping our child find his way - we are confusing them. Study after study has shown that children desire boundaries - and that they will test the ones that are imposed to see if they are truly boundaries or not. Create godly boundaries for a child (oh, and by the way, live by them yourself as well) and a child will have a great deal of stability in his or her life. In many ways, to rear a child in this way is simply to prepare him for a life of discipleship later. Jesus calls us to "Make disciples of all the nations." This means our own children as well. When we teach them that disicpline is the "way of life," we prepare them for the reality that reward and punishment - really are the way of life. They will face such things all the remainder of their days. It is best to begin young teaching them such things - and showing them through our discipline that there are very real consequences for actions outside of the Scriptures. Too many see child reading in this permission society as letting a child find his own way in the world without the parents doing much to get in his way. This is a sure way to lose a child - to have them follow after their own sinful nature and ruin themselves by indulging their flesh and walking in an ungodly path. Adam Clarke spoke of this passage as teaching a child how to narrow the opening of his path so that he was directed in God's way, no matter what chioce he had to make. Clarke spoke of how we needed to show the child the path - instruct him on the duties, dangers, and blessings of the path - and then do all we can do guide the child so that he takes God's path. Thus when a child faces the reality of life in this world - and the choices that are placed before Him - then that child will be able to reason from the Scriptures and know how to conduct himself or herself in the world. We are told to train up this child in the "way" he should go. Way is our old Hebrew friend, "derek" and it means a path, a way - and was probably the word used most often to speak of choices someone would make that would lead to a lifestyle - or way of living. Note here that we are to train up this child to the lifestyle and way - the path of life in which he "SHOULD" go. Here we face a very serious problem when we present this to the average worldling of today. A way in which someone "should go" indicates that one way is superior to another - something this world finds anathema to their worldview. They think all lifestyles and all paths are the same. Thus to say a child has a way he "should go" rather than to just let the child find his own way and follow his own heart until he knows his own path - that is nothing more than legalism and a domineering way of rearing a child. The worldling parent is not supposed to care if the child goes in a way that is not acceptable to the parent. The child will find his own way - and besides, it is the height of arrogance to think we KNOW how someone should go! The Bible has a much different view here. God gives us a Law that guides us into the right way and away from the wrong way. There are certain moral choices that are soundly right - and others that are horribly wrong. There are choices in the area of sexuality that are the right way to live - and others that are wrong (not just an alternate lifestyle - just wrong). Taking the time to teach a child these ways - and guide them into these paths - that is what child training is all about. There is a right way - God's way - and that is how we are to teach our children to walk. We are to train them that right way - and also to instruct them on the consequences of walking in the wrong way. We should show them, not just God's instructions, but also God's judgments on certain ways of living and certain choices that they might make. Then there is the promise. It is a bold promise. Even when he is old he will not depart from it. As the child grows older - with instruction, discipline, warnings, encouragements and everything else a parent should use to teach him - that child will not depart from God's way. The example of the parent is also vital here because we teach not just with words - but with our actions as well. When they see these things - hear these things - watch these things modeled before them - then then will know the way in which to walk. This proverb involves so much more than just taking a child to church and youth group. It involves serious child training using God's Word as our blueprint. It involves selling out on how we live ourselves and laboring to teach our children God's Word on morals and meaning. We labor - striving to show them God's way - striving to help them see the forks in the road - but also the consequences of taking the wrong turn there. These are the things that matter if we are to be successful in rearing children for the Lord. If we instruct and lead in a way that narrows their choices into the wise and godly way - we can be assured that when they grow old, they will not depart from the way in which they were instructed. It is a promise that God's way - taught in God's way - modeled in God's way - will provide results as a child chooses His way as His own way in life. POSTSCRIPT: Recently, individuals have quoted articles from this section and stated that we teach child abuse at Calvary Chapel Jonesboro. To this I feel the need to respond. First, biblically, we are told that if we have a problem with our brother to go to our brother - not the internet - and confront our brother. To date, these individuals have yet to contact me to discuss these things. That should say volumes in itself. Second, we do not teach child abuse at our fellowship. This blog is an endeavor to teach what is in the Bible for the edification and upbuilding of God's people. Anyone who has been to our fellowship knows that in our classrooms we administer NO physical discipline. We correct with words and with "time outs" and eventually with a report to parents. From our nursery throughout every age group our people are instructed NEVER to administer physical discipline. We believe this right alone belongs to a parent. Even then we teach the following about any application of physical discipline. Discipline is about the heart of a child. Physical or corporal punishment is ONLY to be administered in a spirit of love for the child. Teaching and loving verbal correction is key - as is prayer for the child's eventual salvation in Jesus Christ. Any physical punishment administered due to anger or rage is out of line and wrong. The parent is to discipline the child with appropriate discipline - not abuse. In the end the child should be taught - and in every circumstance hugged, loved, and prayed with after any physical punishment to assure them of our love. The idea of a "beating" is completely out of step with what the Scriptures are teaching. Instead the idea of loving discipline is intended. Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6
Here is a verse that we as fathers and grandfathers need to read and have as our goal as parents. It speaks of how grandchildren and children should feel about one another. We are currently suffering from a lack of "fatherhood" in our nation. Fathers are abdicating their responsiblities and leaving children to be reared solely by their mothers (with some children even being rejected by their mothers and being left to a grandmother, relative, or the state system. With all due respect to the moms, grandmothers, and those in the foster care system who are doing their best - dads cannot be replaced. Grandchildren are the crown of old men. We see this in one way when we run into the grandfather who has a wallet full of pictures and a heart filled with pride over his precious grandson or granddaughter. He could tell stories for an hour or more about this precious one who is so dear to his heart. But there is a greater thing we also need to see. Children's children are the product of a job well done by a parent. It is one thing to see our children follow the Lord - and it is a joy to see. But a greater joy even than this is when our children also learn from our example to rear their children in the Lord as well. When we see multiple generations blessed by the work of the Lord in their hearts, we experience the crown - the vicotry that God desires for us in our families. A grandfather who is spiritually minded delights to watch his own children teach his grandchildren to walk with God. One of the things that God desired in His people, was that fathers would take seriously their spiritual responsibility of rearing their children in His ways. This was seen when "many generations" were blessed. This only happens when we see the second part of this proverb embraced. We read, "The glory of children are their fathers." This does not happen automatically. It requires a father who looks at his responsibility to lead his family - and who seeks to fulfill that responsiblity - not for just a day, or a week, or even a year. He seeks to live out God's best for a lifetime. I've watched men do this and it is a joy to watch how their children view them. One man I know personally is his daughter's hero. I watch his 3 daughters as they are around him. Many men would give all that they have to see that look in their daughter's eyes. To these girls, their father is their glory. I also know a man whose son looks at him in the same way. This young man truly has a worthy hero - and the hero is not some athlete or movie star whose life does not deserve emulation. His hero is his dad. Let me say that these looks do not come cheap. These two men have given their lives to love the Lord first - their wives second - and their children third. They have their priorities straight - and they live by them. They don't have a ton of hobbies - and are not men who live for themselves and what they want. They sacrifice and live to please God and to love others. They lay down their lives on behalf of their wives and children. This is a daily act on their part that may seem costly to some men - but these two dads would say that it was a mere pittance compared to what they've received through the love of their families. We have a picture of how things should be. Grandchildren should be the crown of the old men who have them. Children should glory in their fathers. That is the norm in the kingdom of God. The question we should then ask as fathers is very simple. "Are we living in such a way that they have someone in whom to glory?" Our ultimate example in all this is God. He gave and gave - and lives to bless His children - even when they are not exactly worthy of blessing. May we make it our lifelong ambition to be "like Him." Be like the ultimate Father - and give ourselves for our bride and children. When we do so, we will find that there are blessings - marvelous blessings for a job well done in this area. |
Proverb a DayEach day, we'll take a look at a verse from the chapter of Proverbs for the day. Our hope is to gain wisdom each day - and from that wisdom - to have understanding to make godly decisions in the throes of everyday life. Thank you for visiting our website! Everything on this site is offered for free. If, however, you would like to make a donation to help pay for its continued presence on the internet, you can do that by clicking here. The only thing we ask is that you give first to the local church you attend. Thank you!
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